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The Reboot

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We need to "reboot" ourselves occasionally in order to really sense what is going on around us. Our biases and prejudices keep us from seeing, hearing, in short "sensing" what is reality. We need to continuously evaluate ourselves and compare what we see to what others see to help determine if our predispositions are keeping us from our true potential. We need to force ourselves to read, listen, and watch media that exposes us to diverse thinking and beliefs.  Let's train ourselves to "sense" what is there instead of what we think is there. Get Getting the Truth

Decision-Making

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There are many factors at the root of poor decision-making. Some decisions are forced, some ooze out like some sort of cancer. Some appear to be right in every shape and form only to be deemed wrong by history. We control most of the factors that contribute to poor decisions. Chief among those is the inability to ask the right questions in the right way at the right time. The ability to sculpt and construct proper questions is absolutely essential for good decision-making.  Get Getting the Truth and learn. 

The Josh Duggar Admission

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From Josh & Anna Duggar’s Facebook page (5/22/15)

From Josh: (his admission)
"Twelve years ago,
as a young teenager I acted inexcusably for which I am extremely sorry and deeply regret. I hurt others, including my family and close friends. I confessed this to my parents who took several steps to help me address the situation. We spoke with the authorities where I confessed my wrongdoing and my parents arranged for me and those affected by my actions to receive counseling. I understood that if I continued down this wrong road that I would end up ruining my life. I sought forgiveness from those I had wronged and asked Christ to forgive me and come into my life. I would do anything to go back to those teen years and take different actions. In my life today, I am so very thankful for God’s grace, mercy and redemption."

*** Analysis ***

I understood that if I continued down this wrong road that I would end up ruining my life."

This sentence tells the whole story. Words matter. He chooses to use “Understood” instead of “realized,” revealing a calculation more than a conclusion. “Realized” would reflect recognition, acceptance, a clear understanding. “Understood” is more interpretive, more perception than realization. “If I continued down this wrong road,” suggests he faced a decision, as if it were a choice. So he considered continuing his destructive path, but the consequences of that would ruin his life so it was the “wrong road.” The sentence “...that I would end up ruining my life,” is perhaps the most revealing, as if the decision was about his life alone. No mention of the victims and the destructive effects of his actions on the young victims’ minds.

“...as a young teenager. I acted...”

He also tries to mitigate or minimize his actions that he committed, “as a young teenager. I acted ...” That, of course, is relevant. We all did things as teenagers we wish we didn't. In this statement, however, he already stated “Twelve years ago...” Stating the additional, “as a young teenager I acted...” is unnecessary and only serves to help minimize the severity of his actions. He then reminds us again, in “I would do anything to go back to those teen years and take different actions.” So, reminding us that he was a teenager shows calculation, more than remorse. And the words “different actions” again shows a lack of full understanding. What “different actions” would he take? Would he make sure all his victims were asleep and unable to report his assaults? 

“...had wronged..”

Let’s look to see if he uses words that show remorse, a true understanding of the effects of his actions on his victims. His use of the word “wronged” in, “I sought forgiveness from those I had wronged,” is prefaced by the word “had,” the only time he used that word. In this case, the “had” minimizes the word “wronged.” He could have said, “I sought forgiveness from those I wronged,” and that would have been simpler, more direct, and much more heartfelt. By using the unnecessary “had” at that special time in his admission where he could have shown true remorse, he intentionally distances himself from the "wrong" he committed. “I wronged” shows personal commitment and strong remorse. "I had wronged" shows less commitment and responsibility. He still doesn’t fully accept the consequences of his actions.

Conclusion

Pedophiles, by definition must be at least 16 years old and at least 5 years older than their victims. We don’t know if Josh’s actions or age meet those conditions. His admission, however, is consistent with that of a pedophile. Pedophiles, like Jerry Sandusky, only see the consequences of their actions through their own eyes. They can’t empathize. They don’t (can’t) sense the effects of their actions on the victims. They rationalize their actions as loving, caring, and nurturing. That thinking enables them to continue their destructive and devious paths to fulfill their sexual compulsions. We don't know if Josh Duggar is a pedophile. Let's hope he changed course  in time and isn't.

Buy Joe Koenig's book, Getting the Truth to be able to understand the real message.

Are You a 2Kwik?

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A 2Kwik is one who makes judgments and draws conclusions before knowing all the evidence, all the facts. Bias and prejudice are all too often the culprits. The cure for this dangerous malady is "Getting the Truth" available at Get the Truth.

#GettingtheTruth #2Kwik #joekoenig

 

".. unlocking the secrets of communication." - buy Mr. Koenig's autographed books at BOOKSTORE.

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